Foreigners

Hey all. I know it has been a while since I have contributed anything to the blog, so with a few minutes of some down time, I thought I would put down a few thoughts. The past week and some, I have been scuba diving in Nha Trang, four of those days with Wesa, then a rest, then another few days doing another certification. Unfortunately for me, my scuba instructor happened to be thing really interesting, young Scottish guy, who I got along with really well. His assistant was also fun, a young Frenchman getting his divemaster certification--his English was only so-so, but we both spoke "beer" so we got along well. Needless to say, there was plenty of time on the boat to talk about scuba diving with these characters, but also about their experiences of being from other countries and living in working in Vietnam.

Rafael, the young Frenchman, had limited vocab, but was quite vehement about his feelings. He couldn't wait to finish his course, so he could leave to go work in Thailand. He said several times, "The Vietnamese, they see you and see money. That's it. They just want to fuck you for your money." (think of a really thick French accent) From the tourist perspective, it is easy to see why someone might feel that way. The minute you step off a bus, or out of your hostel/guesthouse/hotel room, you are bombared by vietnamese people trying to get you to spend your money. The people in your hotel want to make you breakfast, or sell you train, plane, bus, or boat tickets for tours or transportation, or they want to see you snacks, or recommend you to another of their favorite friends who runs a similar business. As soon as you step outside into the humid air, there are multitudes of people trying to get your money. Hundreds of times in a day, someone offering you "motobai?" to take you somewhere, or shoving a pamphlet for food or a tour into your hand, or trying to drag you into their shop, or force feed you something fried. Even the most easy-going and mild mannered person will find a limit to the badgering--sitting on the beach attempting to relax is very difficult when you have 5 somewhat toothless women wearing straw cone shaped hats peering down at you in your bathing suit, offering you Pringles or bracelets. It is with concerted effort, that I personally remain mild mannered in my responses to each and every person I meet, but I'll admit, it does come with some effort. (however, i will add that even though they try to get my money, it has always been without force--if they can get me to spend it, then it's on me, I paid the inflated price--they did not physically take it from me. We've had no trouble with theft, nor have we heard of anyone who had something physically having things taken from them).

But Raf's comments have stuck with me...especially after talking with another girl from Vietnam, who I did my deep dive with a few days ago. Wesa and I had spent an afternoon at the beach, and observed that most of the Vietnamese women played in the sea fully clothed. Not wanting to be offensive, I had not disrobed all the way to my bathing suit. I asked Tuyen, between dives, if I was doing something offensive, but wearing a bathing suit. She laughed, and made some comments about how older women cluck at tourists in their revealing bathing costumes, and how they grumble at young Vietnamese women who push the boundaries, but wearing a full piece bathing suit. She blew off my questions and said, "Don't worry about it. You are a foreigner. You can wear whatever you want." Essentially, you are an outsider. You aren't one of us, you don't belong here, you won't stay, we put up with you, which is why we don't really care what you wear, you are just going to leave, and you are a means to an end because you come here and spend money.

I find it strange that people here in Asia calls us "foreigners" instead of tourists. They specifically differentiate us from the Vietnamese tourists. We are "foreign." As such, there is little that we can do to find a niche with the Vietnamese people, in the same way that they treat each other. I suppose after having visited all these museums, i can see why--foreigners have been coming to this country for thousands of years, wrecking havoc, and then finding themselves repelled by the Vietnamese. What does it mean, really? For us, generally, it means that we spend anywhere for 2x or more for the same product or service as a local Vietnamese person. It also means that Vietnamese living abroad are also charged inflated amounts--they are perceived as also being "foreigners"--people who can afford it. For the Europeans and others who live and work in Vietnam, it means a constant and likely fruitless struggle to find a comfortable niche in Vietnamese society. For Raf, the Frenchman, it meant that he would just bear it, and huddle with the other ex-pats in the dive shop in the same situation as him and drink beer each night, and go dancing with his girlfriend.

My dive instructor, easy-going Scottish Lewis, expressed to me some similar significant frustration about the arrangement. He plans to live abroad and teach scuba for as long as he can. The outfit he works for in Nha Trang is considered one of "the best" in Vietnam, yet his discomfort is palpable. He isn't happy in Vietnam--for similar reasons Raf expressed--it just hadn't gotten comfortable, like other places around the world he had visited and stayed to teach. The people hadn't relaxed at all, or tried to really get to know the him under the skin color. And to him, it didn't appear that they would.

We have moved from city to city so often, it is difficult to really get a sense of the people, beyond the ones trying to get you to spend money. There are glimpses...but its more like a tease, because you know it would be difficult to really get a good look inside to their lives. Diving with Tuyen and sharing peanut butter oreos, practicing English phrases with children walking on the street, pretend racing three 8 year olds on one bicycle on their way home for lunch (they won), having an old lady brush sand off my breasts on the beach, smiling in a difficult situation and seeing a relieved smile in response. For those moments, I have loved Vietnam.

Which brings me to another topic. Vietnam. People often talk about the "real Vietnam." And how the cities aren't the "real Vietnam." How one must trek and spend money and go on tours and thumb and home-stay to see the "real Vietnam." But what exactly is the "real" anything? Vietnam is changing so quickly, I would argue that the cities that have sprung up and the tourism are "real Vietnam." Its just not the same Vietnam. Every country in the world has changed due to advances in technology, education, health care, and exposure to the rest of the world. What is exactly is the "real United States?" Native Americans living off the land in wigwams on the plains? The confederate war re-enactors running around the south, reliving battles and pretending to kill yanks? Seriously--how on earth can you define the "real" anything?!?! Yet tourists do it constantly--the "real ______." I would simply argue that Vietnam is changing rapidly, for good, bad, just like the rest of the world. But to tramp to a country simply to see what one perceives to be the "real" anything makes me think of people going to the zoo, to observe the wild animals in their 'natural' habitat.

Of the countries we have visited, I have enjoyed Vietnam the most. I can't exactly describe the people here, the immense passion and capacity that they seem to carry within them, the potential of this place. I think of my "glimpses" into the Vietnam that must exist for the Vietnamese people. And, I think of Lewis, and of Raf, and of myself and my sister, far from home, in a place where we are obviously limitedly welcome. It makes me long for home, to be in a place where I am welcome, not for what I represent, but simply as I am.